Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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