I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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