You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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