Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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