When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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