Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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