Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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