We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize