No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
