I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
