Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
