i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You need a sexual gate keeper
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I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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