I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
