i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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