fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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