when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In other news, I just burned my penis
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
