Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
