New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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