Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize