one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize