Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
