I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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