Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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