Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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