to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Operation Purity has been aborted
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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