I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
