my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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