i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
