I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
