Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
