Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
