if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
