I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize