butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
