i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
