We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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