maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
