Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize