I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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