Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
