ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
