do herpes really smell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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