So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
