No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
