the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
