I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
