No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
