I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
