Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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