i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
