Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
