I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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