we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
