i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i think im in europe. pls send help
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.