ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.