You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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