Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please