i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
