I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
