You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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