Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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